The Lessons I've Learned and the Things I've Seen

This whole experience with Gigi has been crazy, eye-opening, life changing, and educational. I want to share some of my thoughts and experiences so that I can remember them and help others learn from them as well. There's been so many crazy things that have happened that I may not even remember them all.
When we got to El Paso on that first day, Easter Sunday, I was immediately reminded of the love that this family gives me and so many others. We are a very close knit family even though it is rare that all of us can really get together at the same place and at the same time. Most of the family was there by the time we got there and there were some people from their church as well. Seeing all of those people so quickly gathered is a sign that so many people love the Phillips family, and especially love the sweet lady who is our matriarch. At that point we were all fearing the worst- that Gigi may be in her last few hours of life. Seeing the sadness and devastation in everyone's eyes was heartbreaking. At the same time I just kept thinking how awesome Gigi is. She is truly a wonderful lady. She is the glue to this big crazy family of ours. The fun things we do are largely in part because of her, the funny stories we have usually include something funny she did (in fact the reason she is Gigi is because it stands for goofy granny. You can count on her to always give us a laugh!), the reason this family is so welcoming to anyone who walks in their door is because of Gigi, I also believe that part of the reason that Wes is such a great pastor is because she is such a great pastor's wife. I could go on but I think you get the main idea.
That night I got to observe an example of a mother's true & unending love for her children. Each of us got some time alone with Gigi and she was able to say things that she wanted to say to us. Jonathan and I were in there for a while and it was one of the sweetest moments I've ever witnessed. I usually see Jonathan as a big tough guy who thinks he can take on the world; he's not afraid to show emotion but this time it was a whole new kind of emotion. I saw him go back to being a sweet little boy who just loves his mom. Gigi said sweet things to him and gave him advice. He listened to her and let her say her peace but he still teased her and had to be silly little Jonathan. Like all mothers and sons they have had their trying times in the past but in that moment all that mattered was the love and respect they had for each other. It really was one of the sweetest moments I've ever been a part of and I hope I can remember it forever.
I also got to witness the real and genuine love of a husband and wife. I have always admired Wes and Gigi's relationship, perhaps mainly because of the many parallels that they had to Jonathan and myself. They met in college, were young, and decided to marry "on love." They didn't have much and had many tough times but it made them stronger and made them who they are today. They were honest and faithful and had enduring love. Its difficult to find a marriage that has lasted over 30 years, much less a marriage that has lasted that long and has been a faithful relationship throughout the time. Wes and Gigi were in a moment that was probably one of the scariest and most unsure times in their relationships and yet they still had a sparkle in their eye when they looked at each other. Wes didn't seem to see a lady covered in tubes and looking sickly, he saw his beautiful bride. As he left she said that he's still her knight in shining armor.
Even when she was in some of the most challenging times of her life, Gigi was still a mom who had to get things done. At one point Wes had to run to the house for some reason and she told him that she had washed Matthew's sheets and they were in the dryer. She was also assuring Jonathan & I that the sheets on our bed were clean. She was thinking about bills that needed to be paid and teaching Wes how to pay them online. She was on Jonathan's case making sure he was getting his work done so he could graduate. The day before, when she first started throwing up the blood, she was riding in the ambulance and talking on her cell phone making sure that Kiana would get her cake for her birthday party. I know that a mom's job never really ends but Gigi was a great example of that. I kept telling her that she was a much better woman than me, if I was in her state I probably wouldn't be thinking about sheets and bills!
The next few days took twists and turns that were crazy. At this point, most of those events have been documented in past blog posts. We ended up going to Houston hoping to get a procedure done that would maybe prolong her life. Once we were there we were so incredibly blessed. We had hotel rooms provided, more food was given to us than we knew what to do with, and a fund set up for people all around to donate money to help us out. We had prayers being said for our family from literally all over the world. Over that week in Houston my blog had been viewed by 10 different countries. I know that we had blesssings that week that I probably didn't even realize. The thing that was most meaningful to me was the bond that our family shared over the week. I've said before that it is so rare that we all get together for an extended period of time. It was sad because of the reason we were there but at the same time it was so fun just being together. We got to laugh and cry together. We got to stay up late telling stories. We got to know each other in new ways. I've said before that Gigi was the glue that held the family together. When all of this started I was afraid that if she died the family would fall apart because the glue would no longer be there. I really feel that this week was a huge blessing in itself because it brought us all together and gave us a new kind of glue. We are now all connected more and in different ways than before.
Throughout the week I got to learn more and more about who Wes & Gigi were. I heard stories I had never heard before and really got to see how many lives they have touched. I had so many different facebook messages and comments on my blog that said things like, "You don't know me but I know your family and they are amazing..." They would go on to tell me how great Wes & Gigi were and that they were praying for us. I also had a lot of messages saying things like, "I've never met Gigi but I wanted to tell you that she is blessing me through her story..." I wish I was able to tell Gigi about that. She would have been so pleased to know that she was still influencing lives- even from a hospital bed.
Touching lives is what Gigi did- when she was healthy and even when she was sick. Wes said in Gigi's funeral yesterday that her spiritual gift was the gift of helps. She definitely was a helper. She couldn't sit by and watch something happen. She wanted to get in the middle of it and help solve the problem or fill a person's need. Her job alone is a job that is so honorable. She was a teacher for special education children who had really challenging health and mental issues. There are a lot of people who look down on kids like that but she saw them as extra special blessings. Those kids weren't just students in her class, they were her kids. This was evident by different parents who I've seen in the past couple days at the viewing and funeral who came to thank her for taking care of their kids throughout the years. Gigi was also touching lives, spiritually, in the hospital. She was witnessing to her doctors, surgeons, nurses, and to family members of other patients. I just can't imagine how many people greeted Gigi in Heaven because of the influence she was on their lives and how many more she will now get to greet when those she touched will enter the gates of Heaven. She motivates me to be a better person and a more active witness for our Savior.
I also learned how physically strong and amazing Gigi was. She had liver problems 28 years ago and was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore children. She had 2 more, one of which was Jonathan. By the strength of her body and the miracles of God, her liver made its own veins and shunts to make it fully function all these years. Many people have asked why Gigi didn't get more routine check-ups so that maybe this could have been caught earlier but the fact of the matter is she did and because her body made her liver work in its own way, the problems were undetectable. In fact, last year she tried donating a kidney so she had to go through extensive tests to make sure she was ok and nothing was found. Her liver was functioning but we have now figured out that it was in a state that everyday in the last 28 years could have very well been her last day. I, personally am thankful for those extra 28 years because otherwise I would not have my husband. Gigi was literally walking proof of a miracle of God.
The last thing I have been blessed to have observed is how strong and amazing my father-in-law, Wes, is. He has been a rock for the family throughout all of this. I'm sure he has had his moments of sadness but he did it in his own time. He keeps things in perspective for us and our friends. He says that he can't be selfish for wanting her here longer when he got her for 28 years longer than he should have. He was the officiating pastor at her funeral and he did a phenomenal job. He captured every element of Gigi's character perfectly and held himself together throughout the whole thing. Its obvious that he is still in love with his "sweetie," as he called her. Earlier this week he was sharing their song with me, John Denver's "My Sweet Lady," and I could still see the sparkle in his eye that I saw in the hospital days before. He just amazes me, for a million reasons he amazes me, but in the last couple weeks I have found a whole new respect for him. I told him that guys often look to their wives moms to see what to expect in the future so if I do the same with my husband's dad then I have a lot to look forward to and I'm one lucky girl.
As I write this blog I'm sitting in Gigi's living room and I want to share some quotes she has in frames on her walls. "The most important things in life aren't things." "Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." "Faith, hope, and love, the greatest of these is love." "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver or gold. -Proverbs 22:1" "Family- we live, we laugh, we play, we love." I love that she has each of these up. I love these quotes and they perfectly describe who Gigi is and how she lived her life.
So here's the things that I've taken away from this: love God with all your heart and live your life for Him, lead others to Christ, keep the love for your spouse strong so that when you are in your last days you still have a sparkle in your eye when you look at each other, be a mother to your children and all children who need a mother, realize that family includes more than those who are related by blood, and show your love for those around you because you never know when life is going to take a dramatic turn- each new day really is a blessing from the Lord.


*Side note: I know that many of you have been keeping up with my blog to keep up to date on what has been going on with Gigi. I hope that you will continue to check in. My posts will probably start to go back to my normal day-to-day life but I'll continue to give updates on how we are doing in the aftermath of all of this when it is necessary. Thank you for reading my posts and encouraging me to keep my updates going. I didn't know that my little posts would make such an impact on so many of you. This week it has been nice seeing the faces of those of you who have been reading. It really has been my pleasure writing all of these and sharing with you all. Thank you for the prayers, love, and support.